a glimmer of light

Today was a rather weird day. Had my AMPT test in which I was given two scenarios. I suppose I did rather well for the first one and I was told I had the highest score among everyone else but I totally screwed up the second one and I failed as a result of that. The effect of the failure affected me stronger then I had expected. I was feeling totally like crap.

So anyway I don't know why but I went back to Charlie's SP. I sat down and I broke down there. I guess all the undesireable occurances in my life was finally taking a more obvious effect. I just sat down there for about an hour or so and in that period of time, I guess I learnt something quite valuable.

First, the medics came out from e-mart and saw me. They sat down and tried to comfort me and stuff. Secondly, Samuel from Charlie came and asked me what was wrong. As I didn't say anything much and that the other medics were around, I'm glad that he understood that I needed my space and let me for awhile. Thirdly and most surprisingly, the Foxtrot CSM came and asked me why I was looking so downcast. Ok the reason why it was so surprising to me was that we don't even know each other, much less talk to each other before. He was really nice ah. Talking cock to me and trying to console me. What was valuable was that he adviced me to pray more as a means of solace and a solution. I realised then that the reason why I was especially shocked was because I had came to view Muslim soldiers in the SAF with a prejudiced view that they are simply not religious. That taught me a valuable lesson as to not judge anyone without any valid reason. Ok anyway lastly, the Charlie storeman came and he also tried to ask me what was wrong.

After that, I went up to the bunk and I puked my guts out in the toilet. It was really horrible and the sickly feeling didn't go away. So I went to lie on my bed and partially sleep with the ipod on. When I finally got up about an hour and a half later, I immediately felt better and happier. Surprise surprise. Went down and met Terrence and Sean who also heard about me and tried to cheer me up. Went to do my cover and then went to the cookhouse for dinner. Met the Charlie storeman again who was there packing dinner for the isolated personnels. It was nice of him to stay and have dinner with me even though he was actually on his way back. Went up to bunk and I met Kang Hua who probably said the most encouraging words without being too emotional and stuff. He was like "Hey I don't know what problems you are having but don't get too upset over it." Simple? Yes. But effective nevertheless.

Lessons of the day?

1. In the words of the Foxtrot CSM, "Its ok to fail but you have to pick yourself back up again."
2. I have learnt that a lot of people do care about me. Such a contrast to about 4 months back when I was newly posted into the unit and didn't know anyone.
3. Sometimes God sends his blessings through what may appear to be setbacks.